Pardon the cliche title. Couldn’t think of an apt heading for the first legit blog of my life.
So. Why’d I start something like this? Let’s just say that a certain someone I know inspired me to, let’s say, take a peek outside my comfort zone. ‘Cuz you know, i’m just in my room, sitting down on a chair, staring at my laptop. The usual stuff. The only unusual thing that I’m doing is that I’m actually typing this for the world to see. Well there’s always Facebook and Tumblr, but this is actually a bit more cohesive.
Anyway, you ever find yourself at a crossroads in life? Feel a little lost? I do. A lot of times. So make that a million crossroads. I’m a very indecisive person, you see. And i’ve been trying to find myself for a quite a while now. A few months maybe? If that’s even a while. Searching for answers, you know? I’m not really sure if that’s normal for an 18 year-old to do, in her first year of college… But I really do feel like I’m detached from my soul…. Does that make sense? Like the feeling of floating somewhere, surrounded by fog, not knowing which way to go to get out of the haze…
But… I just passed the first year of architecture, so I don’t really know if it’s right to say the things i just said. Am I out of my mind? ….Probably. Maybe it’s because I passed first year that I’m voicing out, sorry, typing out my feelings of being stuck, of being at a crossroads.
To tell the truth, I honestly didn’t know whether to cry or jump for joy when i found out that i made the cut-off. Wasn’t even totally sure whether I should continue my course even if i passed.
But I did. And maybe that’s something to start with. To have something to hold on to in this sea of nothingness that is my mind. To cope with this feeling of lost.
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Hahaha what is this? My first blog and already I sound emo bahaha. But I think I’ll excuse myself. After all, this is my first time to have a blog. We’re allowed to be emo sometimes. But not all the time… Sometimes it’s also healthy to just be shallow-minded haha XD
Oh but hey at least a good thing happened. My mind sort of feels clearer now, after trying to organize my thoughts and feelings into one whole text. I hope I get better at this, so I can sort out my life more haha.
(Quotes! I love quotes XD)
“You must find the place inside yourself where nothing is impossible.”
― Deepak Chopra
Lifebits 