Over-eating is a pain in the neck. Nothing has ever been more annoying. I have been experiencing this dilemma for about 2 weeks now…
I think it all started when I dropped my major subjects. Now that I don’t have morning classes anymore, and have more free time to do whatever, I usually end up eating… It’s almost always snack time for me.
On free days, like the past few days, I wake up at around 8am, eat breakfast that could sometimes last for about 45 minutes or more due to my reading books while eating. And then at lunch I wouldn’t feel like eating much, because my appetite still hasn’t recovered from breakfast. Then later, due to my meager lunch, I would pig out at merienda, or afternoon snack, at around 4-5pm. During dinner I wouldn’t feel like eating anything, or even looking at anything edible . Last night was the worst. I felt kind of woozy, but I didn’t really want to skip dinner, so I just drank soup. With 2 or 3 servings. When that didn’t help, my brother told me about an incident wherein his friend drank 4 bottles of gatorade to alleviate his feeling of nausea. His friend felt much better afterward. So I got a bottle of gatorade and gulped it down. And yes, I did feel better.
Know what’s also to blame? Those darned good Speculoos cookie butter and Biscoff and Cadbury spreads that’re sooo irresistable. I eat them with toast for breakfast or for merienda or after dinner almost everyday. I hate this feeling of not being able to control the desires of my taste buds, when my stomach helplessly begs me to stop consuming any more. Ending with my ultimate demise, I don’t listen.
I try not to think about food too much, which might be a good thing because it brings back the feeling of bloated-ness. I do feel bloated a lot now, unsurprisingly, but my self-control has never been this out of reach. Discipline has always been an issue for me, whether it’s about eating, studying or watching my TV shows. I find it hard to say no to myself, which is afterwards infuriating when I catch myself with a full stomach at merienda, or when I look at the clock and it’s already 11:30pm and I’m still playing Sims. How in the world am I going to achieve my goals in this state?!
I want to improve. I want to have more self-discipline over my wants. But how to do that?!
I guess I could try reflecting really hard whenever I make a decision. Any decision. Maybe that way I can slowly gain control of my life and not let my body’s desires get the best of me.
Lifebits 